Last week we went through the seven building blocks of a solid social house, one that will perfectly compliment your soul’s land.
Today we’ll be walking through what foundation damage of the house might look like. If you recall from last week, a solid social house foundation would likely include the following:
- The belief that we are whole and complete exactly as we are.
- A deep sense of self-love and worthiness.
- Trust in our bodies and their inherent wisdom.
- A sense of belonging and inclusion in the human tribe.
As always, it’s easier to see what foundation damage would like in this area with an example.
Samuel’s soul’s land looks like this:
You could imagine that Samuel’s ideal house might look something like this:
Samuel, however, was not fortunate enough to build his ideal house the first time through. (Most of us aren’t!)
Samuel’s last memory of his mother was not the night she left his family, but the screaming fight she had with his father the week before.
Huddled under the covers with his little sister, Cora, he heard his mother and father screaming at each other.
“I never wanted them! You trapped me with Samuel and now you want out?” His father’s voice had never been so loud or rough before. He heard Cora’s soft gasps as she tried to muffle her tears.
“I didn’t think it would be so awful! I thought you would help me, but you work all the time! I know you work so you don’t have to be around any of us!”
Samuel’s mother was his father’s second wife, and she insisted on having children. Samuel’s dad was not on board with this plan, having already raised two children from a previous marriage.
Samuel’s mom laid out an ultimatum: we have kids or I leave. Samuel’s dad loved her and didn’t want to lose her, so he agreed. Samuel and his sister were born, and within 5 years, his mother left his dad and abandoned both of her kids.
Despite what Samuel heard that night, his dad loved him and his sister and did his best by them, but he couldn’t help resenting being in this situation.
As a result of this situation, Samuel ended up with some major foundation wounds and built this social house:
You can see that this house is more like an apartment or a hotel and can house huge numbers of people. It was also built on stilts, which makes the entire thing look like it might fall down at any minute.
What this looked like in Samuel’s life was a near desperation to not be left again, causing him to cling on to anyone who entered into his life. He spent way more time with people that his soul truly wanted, because he never wanted to experience the pain of being left again.
What cause Samuel to seek help through therapy was “the final straw” of his own wife leaving him. He began the process of tearing down and rebuilding his social house.
Next week we’ll continue Samuel’s story post-therapy as he sought out his happily-ever-after, and how he used that to build a social house perfect for his soul’s land.