There comes a time in each of our “healing paths” that we get to decide that we are done:
- Done thinking of ourselves as victims – or even survivors.
- Done organizing our present lives based on past trauma.
- Done believing we are broken and somehow need to be fixed.
- Done wondering how we can get the “one thing” that will make our lives as happy as we dreamed they would be.
- Done focusing on our personal growth.
This might seem counter-intuitive coming from a coach who helps people transitioning out of therapy, but it’s not. For me, this is the final step of all of our healing work – declaring that we’re good enough – deciding we’re healed enough.
We stop organizing around recovery and healing – and start reaping the benefits of all of that work. We begin designing our lives based on our loves, passions, strengths, values, and daily delights.
We become willing to let go of the struggle. We release the identity of ourselves as wounded and healing.
Do we quit growing? Of course not – but growth becomes a joyful by-product of the adventures we’re taking, not the end goal itself.
Each of us comes to this moment in our own time. When working with clients, my goal is to help each person get there, and – most importantly – figure out how to direct all of that energy into creating a life that is authentic and joyful.
Sometimes, though, it’s enough to know that the moment of “being done” is coming.
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Hi, I’m new to your wonderful site. I’m trying to wrap my head around the following, “Done wondering how we can get the ‘one thing’ that will make our lives as happy as we dreamed they would be.” I always think to myself, “I would be happy, no matter what was going on in my life, if I could just lose 60 pounds!” I had the experience of doing so and was extremely happy – until I gained it all back.