I am…Really? Are You Sure?

One of my guilty pleasures is watching YouTube parodies of music videos, and one of my favorites is Bart Baker’s parody of “What About Love” by Austin Mahone. (If you don’t know who Austin Mahone is, don’t worry, it just means you’re older than 13. I had to go look him up.) In it, Bart’s “Austin” is a government-grown clone of Justin Bieber, and the two of them hash it out to a dance-off “swag match.” It’s hilarious, but it’s not the point of my post. What I noticed was a series of comments on the parody, with teens (or preteens…or who knows) saying things like “I’m a Belieber and a Mahomie…”

I find this disturbing.

Not because I dislike Justin Bieber – there is enough hate going around for that kid already. Because it’s making Justin Bieber somehow part of your own identity.

I have thought a lot about identity lately, and it keeps coming up in random books I’m reading. Martha Beck’s The Four Day Win cited a study that had participants stop using any version of the verb “to be” in relation to their weight. They lost an average of eleven pounds from just that change.

Sometime this summer, I came across a quote from Abraham-Hicks, “’I am’ is a powerful creation statement.”

While visiting my sister over Christmas, I lost sleep to read Parrotfish, a young adult novel about a transgendered teen. The book’s main character described gender as a spectrum – where the manliest man is at one goalpoast and the most feminine woman is at the other goalpost. Where would you stand?

I now can’t get this out of my head.

I have read several gluten-free, vegan, raw cookbooks lately in support of changing my eating patterns. Each author is proud to “be” a vegan, a raw foodie, a vegetarian. When did food choices become part of our fundamental identities?

I’m a vegan , a vegetarian, a carnivore, a wine lover, a carb whore, a sugar addict.

Is that true?

I am fat, thin, young, old, smart, stupid, shy, outgoing, sexy, ugly.

Is that true?

I am broke, rich, wealthy, poor, middle class, struggling, financially challenged, financially blessed.

Is that true?

I am Muslim, Hindu, Christian, Buddhist, Jewish, Wiccan, Sikh, Atheist.

Is that true?

I am Black, White, Asian, Latino, African-American, Native American.

Is that true?

I am straight, gay, bisexual, queer.

Is that true?

I am male, female.

Is that true?

When did the words we use to express our essence to another become boxes for us to live in? Why do we continue to use labels when it allows for depersonalization?

It’s hard to envision a “God hates people who fall in love with people of the same sex” poster board. Or a “God hates people who practice Judaism” sign.

What can you say is absolutely true about your identity?

How are your labels working for you? Where could you use an upleveling?

This week, I invite you to join me in abstaining from any use of the word “to be” to describe yourself or others. That includes is, are, was, has been , will be, hasn’t been , won’t be, were, weren’t isn’t, aren’t.

This should be interesting. Leave a comment and let me know you plan to join me.