We all get stuck sometimes, even after going through therapy. These posts have ideas, tools, strategies and inspiration to help you get unstuck and get on with creating your best life.
It’s Over When You Decide It’s Over
There comes a time in each of our “healing paths” that we get to decide that we are done: Done thinking of ourselves as victims – or even survivors. Done organizing our present lives based on past trauma. Done believing we are broken and somehow need to be fixed. Done wondering how we can get […]
The Most Important Thing You Didn’t Learn in Therapy
Five years ago, I was working in a corporate job, miserable, convinced that the job was slowly sucking away the very marrow of my soul. Despite nearly ten years of therapy and endless self-help, I could not turn this job experience around –my heart was withering. I felt like I was not contributing, not living […]
The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up
Last month I was with five of my dearest friends in Northern Michigan. We spent a solid hour gushing – like preteens might have over Justin Bieber a few years back – over a book on how to clean and declutter your home. We rhapsodized over our vertical-folded drawers. We swooned over our pared-down bookshelves, […]
Self Coaching 101 – Part 2
We’re diving in further to Brooke Castillo’s Self Coaching 101 this week. In case you missed last week’s post, the key takeaway is that circumstances don’t cause feelings – thoughts cause feelings. Luckily we’re able to change what we’re thinking, and Brooke’s CTFAR model helps us do just that. As I mentioned in last week’s post, […]
Self Coaching 101 – Part 1
Someone dear to me – we’ll call her Jane – is in a relationship that I think is somewhere between very unhealthy and outright dangerous. The latest update on her and her boyfriend John read like an engraved invitation into The Drama Triangle. In my mind, Jane is the victim. John is the persecutor. It’s […]
Free Yourself from The Drama Triangle
Do you have a situation like this at work: a blaming, angry, screaming boss, a hardworking, helpless, hopeless employee, and a series of people stepping in to vilify the boss and/or commiserate with the hopeless employee? You might have it instead in your family feuds over whether your son should learn to skateboard, or an […]
Declare Your Independence
What area of your life is just not working? Where do you feel stuck, unable to create a different experience, a result you want? Let’s change that today. In honor of American Independence Day yesterday, we’re going to declare our independence and get out of this old rut. I’m exploring online dating right now, and […]
Is it Time to Dethrone Your Mother?
Something has been happening to me over the last month or so, sparked by my own writing about appreciating who you are. (As is so often the case, I’m drawn to write about what I most need to learn in the moment.) I’ve come to this revelation: My “standard of excellence,” the bar by which […]
Give Yourself Some Credit
Recently I read an article that said that attorneys and accountants are more likely to be critical of their spouses and families than people in other professions. The author said this was due to these people focusing almost entirely on finding errors as a fundamental component of their jobs. In an entirely unscientific multi-year study […]
7 Steps to Love Your Life Right Now
Can you tell me the areas of your life that most need improvement right now? Can you tell me the things you need to do, the things you would like to buy, the experiences you would like to have? I’m going to guess that you can. Can you also tell me the areas of your […]