Someone dear to me – we’ll call her Jane – is in a relationship that I think is somewhere between very unhealthy and outright dangerous. The latest update on her and her boyfriend John read like an engraved invitation into The Drama Triangle. In my mind, Jane is the victim. John is the persecutor. It’s […]
Free Yourself from The Drama Triangle
Do you have a situation like this at work: a blaming, angry, screaming boss, a hardworking, helpless, hopeless employee, and a series of people stepping in to vilify the boss and/or commiserate with the hopeless employee? You might have it instead in your family feuds over whether your son should learn to skateboard, or an […]
Is Your Workplace a Dysfunctional Family System?
People hear screaming behind closed doors and no one discusses it. “Everyone” knows you’re not supposed to spend more than five minutes getting your morning coffee. “Everyone” knows that in order to get ahead, you need to volunteer to lead employee teams even if you hate groups. There are all types of bizarre and unspoken […]
Want to Read My Love Letters?
I don’t know about you, but if I plan to be with someone 24/7 until the moment of my death, I’d strongly prefer to at least like them. I’m talking about our bodies here – the only relationship guaranteed to be lifelong. Since I can remember, I’ve had a tumultuous relationship with my body, alternately […]
Reinventing Lent: Giving Up Pointless Suffering
Friends, for many Christian denominations, this is the first Sunday of Lent. Lent is traditionally a time of repentance, fasting, and preparation for Christ’s death and resurrection. In my own experience, I observed Lent by giving up something I loved for six weeks, allowing myself to feast on this forbidden thing on Sundays, which don’t […]
Choosing the Path of Ease
If you’ve read much of my blog, you know I embody just a bit of drama. My life lessons loom large, my sorrows great, my joy overwhelming – at least in my own mind. I’ve had a fair amount of training in learning from suffering – growing up with an abusive, mentally ill father, being […]
Choosing Your Growth Opportunity
For several months, my friend and I have been dealing with a conflict. We’ve both been reverting to our standard patterns of handling this type of situation – he avoided it altogether, I became increasingly emotional and dramatic. This week, I reached my annoyance point and invited him to hash things out. It did not […]