Imagine, please, this stereotypical scene: a group of college boys in a bar, already fairly drunk, overtly staring at women and openly rating them to each other. We all know this scene, yes? Excellent! Now replace this with three middle aged women in business attire, dead sober at a Chipotle, doing the same thing to any man who walks through the door. This is where our story begins.
We’re here in fierce competition – me and two of my favorite coworkers – to see who can find a man we consider hot. Whoever fails to do so is forced to buy the others dessert. Here’s how this evolved: we were at a deadly work holiday party some months back, the kind where half the department is slamming shots – at noon – by the bar, and the other half is sitting around in clumps, discussing work. Honestly I’d rather work than attend this type of party, but I was being paid, so there I was. My table was deep in discussion about one of the most hated men in the company and the various atrocities he had committed that very week. In desperation to end the boredom, I announced that this evil corporate troll we were discussing was, in fact, incredibly freaking hot.
This produced months of teasing about the troll’s hotness and my questionable taste, to the point where I was challenging my coworkers to give me examples of who they found hot. They could not cough up a single one. Keep in mind I was working for a very large entertainment company at the time, which was practically overflowing with unusually good looking people! Finally, one coworker announced she had ridden in an elevator with Ryan Gosling, and she conceded that he was hot. My other coworker came in one day to say that the personal trainer on the Biggest Loser was also hot. Pathetic! I challenged them to give me real-life examples of men who were not on television, for goodness’ sake. Thus the competition began.
So there we were at the Chipotle, craning our necks, rating, commenting, and ogling every man who walked in. The poor man next to us quickly put on his iPod with a look of disgust. These ladies take completion seriously, and none of us were willing to lose this bet. While we had a lot of fun in a sick, socially unacceptable type of way, I also experienced some profound insight there, to my shock. First, you can really tell a lot about how a person feels about themselves from the way they dress. Second, we all make snap judgments about others in seconds. Three, you seriously can SEE confidence. I had no idea.
Some examples from our own lunch: there were two men who showed up, one of whom went on my radar. I announced him for the group’s evaluation, and instantly got “who, him? No, he looks like he was a total loser in high school and is still trying to recover from it.” The men who drew the most attention from us, consistently, were those that seemed like they owned the Chipotle, who walked with a bit of a swagger, who wore their clothes with complete confidence, regardless of what they were. We eventually settled on two men as contenders for “hottest”, despite the fact that one was wearing a hoodie with no shirt underneath and several gold chains, and one was wearing a primary-colored, plaid, quilted jacket that looked like he might have stolen it from his grandmother. Were they the best looking men there? Not really. Some really good looking men just faded into the background. Some not-incredible-looking men stood out.
So two things for you to potentially play with this week. One, if you are bored at work and have fun, trusted friends there, try this type of lunch for yourself. First, it seriously livens up your day. Second, I’m dying to hear your experience. If you do decide to try this, please come back and comment! Two, a fun exercise to try – go out somewhere – looking EXACTLY as you normally do – and walk around thinking “I am so freakin hot,” just to see what it is like. Seriously, I can nearly guarantee that you will, at the very least, have a good time. It’s just more fun to walk around like that. Plus… what can it hurt? I would LOVE to hear about your experience – if you’ve tried something like this before, or decide to try it this week, please, share!