A few years ago I fell in love with an incredible man who did not love me. While a painful experience, it was also one of the very best gifts I’ve ever received. It came with clear sight – at least when it came to him – and there’s few things that have changed me quite as much as this did. Some kind of switch happened – years into knowing him – that made me able to see that divine being at the core of him, no matter what the circumstances. Whether he was ignoring me, smiling at me, laughing with me, yelling at me, I would be interacting with his surface self and seeing this ageless, kind, stunning being staring out of his eyes. I’m still not entirely sure whether I had fallen in love with him or had a mystical experience, and I suppose it doesn’t really matter.
What does matter is what I learned from it, and that’s what I’d like to share with you today. I now see each of us as a four-layer being. Since it’s a little bit easier, let’s refer to that being as “you.” Because it’s fun and our theme is Clear Sight, I’ve created a visual aid:
Try to imagine these as layers, beginning with the first as the blondes in front of the curtain, and each subsequent layer is behind that one. We’re not starting with the top layer though, we’re starting in the center.
The Center: Your Heart Self
I see this as the combination of your soul and your physical body, which has created the unique you, with all your loves, talents, and gifts. You were born as this being – a joyful adventurer here to live out your life’s mission, excited to get started. The things that you love today that you’ve loved since you were a child are likely your heart self’s preferences.
We come into the world worthy, beautiful, and whole. We remain this way throughout our lives and die as worthy, beautiful and whole. The only problem is that we don’t realize it, because of our next component:
The Funhouse Mirror
Somewhere along the way, the vast majority of us get a funhouse mirror installed. This is the various distorted ways we see ourselves. The mirror can come from nearly anything – from childhood abuse to people simply unable to see your beautiful heart self. Through the years, we get warped images of who we are – unworthy, ugly, broken. There’s something wrong with us. We need to be more ________ and then we’d be loved. If we were less ________, terrible things would no longer happen. We’re too much, it hurts too much to feel, we’re not enough, we’re flawed.
We begin to believe the reflection in the mirror. It blocks us from seeing who we really are, and it scares us. If other people really see who we are, then they’ll reject us, and so we go on stage:
Who You Are Pretending to Be
These are your various social personas. This is the together woman who balances work and family and still works out. This is the happy, competent person who is afraid of nothing. This self can actually take on a million different elements, bringing out whoever it is that you think will get you love and approval. The only problem is, any love and approval gained by this self feels false and disappointing, because it’s not your real self. Being loved at this level is better than not being loved at all though, and so often we keep the curtain firmly closed and take what we can get.
The worst part? If we don’t let anyone in, we don’t have anyone to help us break the funhouse mirror, and we get trapped.
“We are all a part of the divine spark. All have a purpose in creation and that purpose is called Love. That love, however, shouldn’t be concentrated in just one person, it should be scattered throughout the world, waiting to be discovered. Wake up that love.” ― Paulo Coelho
Who You Really Are
Here is the truth about you – you are beautiful beyond measure. You have at the core a being so vast, wise, and kind it can’t be put into words. You are ageless, timeless, you have never not been and you will never not be. You’re beautiful like a galaxy, the perfect sunset, the Red Rocks of Sedona – beautiful in a way that is breathtaking, transforming. You are perfect, you are Love, and the world is so much better because you exist.
Please, do whatever it takes to break that mirror. Invite people in, hire a demo crew, take the risk.
You’re worth it. I promise.
I’ve created a guided audio meditation to go with this post, which you can download or listen to here. For access to my full library of free tools and audios, please sign up in the box below.