Is there some area of your life that – despite your wishes – you just can’t seem to change? This week we’re going to look at one potential reason for that: unconscious ideas about problems that will come with your dream. These are not dark buried traumas I’m talking about – just associations you didn’t realize you had. I’m going to call them blocks for the moment. Hopefully last week’s post helped you find some of your own. In this post, we’re going to begin releasing them. Grab a pen and paper (or device) and let’s begin.
Get Your Ick List
Take a minute to look back over your dream from last week and identiify those things that gave you an ick factor. For me, it was the idea of what I would hear people saying when I was living my financial dreams:
“I love being someone who plays with money, creating abundance, prosperity, and adventure and I know I am because I hear people telling me that they wish they were as lucky as I was, that it must be nice to be able to travel so often, and that they envy me having found financial freedom.”
You might have had an ick reaction to paying more taxes, hiring someone to oversee your Italian villa, getting wolf whistles on the street, or making a presentation. Great. Whatever it is, this is our ticket into figuring out some beliefs that are keeping you form pursuing your dream.
Why? Why? Why?
Channel your inner child and ask yourself why this feels icky until you come to an answer that feels complete or you start repeating yourself. I’ll show you:
Why does the idea of hearing people say they envy me feel icky?
Because I will feel really uncomfortable hearing someone I care about say that.
Because it feels like it will be a wall between us, like we’re separated.
Why is that icky?
Because maybe I won’t be part of the group if I have financial freedom.
Because people sometimes resent people they envy. I’ll be an outsider.
Name That Belief!
Once your whys are complete, take a look at them and see if you can find the underlying beliefs behind the statements. These might be things that you would never say out loud, but secretly believe. Or they might be things that seem to obvious that you just assume they are truth, not beliefs. We are doing this with a sense of curiosity, not judgment.
I see several just from my own short answers:
People resent those that they envy.
My friendships aren’t strong enough to handle envy.
I have to be like the people I care about for them to care about me.
If I’m uncomfortable in a situation, I will silently endure it instead of mentioning it to my friends.
My friends would distance themselves from me if I became successful.
People envy those that have achieved financial freedom.
I feel a little bit absurd writing these. Often with really ridiculous unconscious ideas, just making them conscious and writing them down will help to dispel them. In my own case, the vast majority (if not all!) of my friends are significantly closer to financial freedom than I am. It’s a little bit funny to think of any of them being threatened by my success. Until the belief is conscious though, I can’t laugh at it!
I’d like you to segregate any beliefs you find into two categories – those that seem to be true, and those that you think might be silly. Please keep the full sentence for the true ones, but shorten the silly ones to a few words.
Seems True Seems Silly
Is it really true?
For the ones that seem like the truth, try running them through one of the thought work models. For convenience, here are posts detailing my favorite methods:
- The Work by Byron Katie – I use this for my most resistant thoughts, my full post is here.
- Self Coaching 101 by Brooke Castillo – I use this when I want a quick, clear look at what the thought is creating in my life – my post is here.
- The Focus Wheel by Abraham-Hicks – I use this when I know what thought I would like to have instead, but can’t get there – my post is here.
For the silly thoughts, we want to do something easy to release them. It might be something simple like writing them down on a piece of paper and then ripping them up. I’ve also created a video guided meditation release to do this – check out the video below! (It’s about 2 minutes long.)
Leave a comment below and let us know how you’re freer to pursue your dream.