Holidays celebrating family can be challenging for those of us who grew up with trauma. On a day when I’m supposed to celebrate my father, do I honor him for the love he had for me and the ways he provided for our family? In doing so, do I still hold him accountable for all […]
Exploring Nonviolent Communication
Have you ever thought of the practice of labeling or criticizing yourself – or others – as a violent act? I hadn’t, until I was introduced to Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication method (NVC for short.) Check this out: “If “violent” means acting in ways that result in harm, then much of how we communicate — […]
25 Ways to Use Your Love Language for Self-Care
It was so much fun to write this that I decided to create a 10-Day Self-Care by Love Language Challenge email class as a gift for you so you can explore more. Click Here to Sign Up for the Self Care Challenge I hope you enjoy it! If you hate email but still want the […]
3 Ways to Help Celebrate Autumn
Autumn is the time for releasing & setting intentions. These three free downloadable gifts will help you with each step. Often the hardest part of releasing & setting intentions is the releasing step. The two following tools will help make this easier for you – starting with a gentle guided audio mediation. Once you’ve listened […]
It’s Over When You Decide It’s Over
There comes a time in each of our “healing paths” that we get to decide that we are done: Done thinking of ourselves as victims – or even survivors. Done organizing our present lives based on past trauma. Done believing we are broken and somehow need to be fixed. Done wondering how we can get […]
The Most Important Thing You Didn’t Learn in Therapy
Five years ago, I was working in a corporate job, miserable, convinced that the job was slowly sucking away the very marrow of my soul. Despite nearly ten years of therapy and endless self-help, I could not turn this job experience around –my heart was withering. I felt like I was not contributing, not living […]
How to Look at the Layers of Trauma
Most of us who have been through therapy got there because of trauma. This is often not one traumatic incident, but a series of incidents or chronic abuse, violence, neglect, etc. Many of us ended up in therapy because of emotional wounds from emotional, physical, or sexual abuse (or some horrific combo of them) in […]
3 Reasons Why Affirmations Make Life Better
One of the occupational hazards of being a life coach is straying into Saturday Night Live Stuart Smiley territory, and today’s topic –affirmations – almost begs to be mocked. I’m going there anyway, because…doggone it…they work. Here’s why affirmations make life better: Your brain is continuously seeking evidence to confirm your existing worldview. (See this […]
How Jenny’s Early Abuse Created Weak Framing
Meet Jenny – 35, married, mother of two adorable young girls, Director of Legal Affairs at a major corporation. Up until four years ago, Jenny pretended her life was as perfect as it looked from the outside. One gorgeous baby (the other would come a year later), a loving, wonderful, husband, a beautiful home, prestigious […]
What Samuel Really Wanted From His Soul Mate
(If you missed the introduction to Samuel’s story last week, you can read it here.) When Samuel was finishing up therapy, he believed he had addressed his foundation damage. He had forgiven his mom for leaving him and had developed an understanding of his father and even an appreciation for all that he did for […]